1. Is it true?
Yes.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
Needy. Dependent on what they think of me. I get this image of clinging to my uncle’s leg once when I was a child.
Giving my dignity and power away to others. Putting my happiness in someone else’s hands. Like if I get their respect (or at least get them to not disrespect me) for what I’m doing, I’ll feel better about myself.
With that thought I make them all powerful while making myself all small at the same time. I see myself the way I imagine them to see me. Not very loving. Actually, the opposite. I sarcastically tell myself: "Wow, Christine you’ve come far!" It is as though I need them to tell me it’s ok or I am ok.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would be doing my thing. I would see how I love this freedom of taking time to myself to find out what I really want. I would acknowledge how great it is to do some work where I don’t have to think much, where I get plenty of exercise, and where I get to work many hours at once and then have a lot of time off. I would also see that I only work when I want to and that it is great balance to the mental work I do working on business ideas to try out.
Without the thought I’d be in my business. I would be at peace with me. Yes, I would be a lot more loving of me.
I would really enjoy the work. I would appreciate my strength of making things more efficient. I would love that this work allows me to be fast and how I love being fast.
I would stay out of other people’s business and allow them their thoughts they might have about me working as a waitress.
Wow, what freedom! What joy.
Turnarounds:
I don’t need them to respect me.
- I had people’s respect in my consulting career — and yet there were times I was unhappy, stressed, etc. The respect of others didn’t make things "better".
- Even when I had their respect I was constantly afraid to lose it by failing. It is like I don’t have it, there is stress. I do have and there is stress about losing it. Whether I have or not, there is stress either way. So, really there is no difference. And that must mean it’s not about their respect.
- I don’t want people respecting me when they don’t.
- Yes, I don’t want them to fill MY holes. I don’t want them to do what I can’t do.
I need me to respect me.
- That’s what it is! I didn’t respect me in those moments and that’s what hurt. So let me begin with me. Can I do what I wanted others to do? If I can’t even do it, how can I expect anybody else to do it?
- When I started my own language courses I respected me and I know that then it didn’t matter when someone made a comment about going from consulting to teaching. It didn’t hurt (because I had my respect).
- I remember once at a consulting meeting or party someone was tossing around some big word that everybody seemed to know. And I just asked: "I have no clue what xyz is. Can you tell me more about it?" In that moment I respected me for staying in my integrity and asking instead of going along pretending that I know it. In that moment I didn’t need the others to respect me. Keeping my respect for me mattered much more to me. And, as it turned out, none of the others knew the word either. 
I need me to respect them.
- Yes, for not respecting me and my choices. Now can I with them what I wanted them to do with me?
- Yes, for them staying in the consulting industry.
- Yes, for not taking risks, taking time to really think about if they are working in their dream job. Etc. I remember mentally putting down people (even today) for doing something day in and day out without ever questioning if they are living their dream. So, can I respect them for whereever they are?
Filed under Approval and Appreciation, Self, Work by on Aug 1st, 2007. Comment. 
1. Is it true?
It seems like it.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I feel inferior. Small. I compare myself to him. I feel sad, hopeless.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would be more loving towards myself. Gentle. More supportive of me. I would get out of his business. I would come back to me.
Turnarounds:
He doesn’t "never" doubt himself.
- I am not 24/7 with him.
- He could pretend to never doubt himself.
- I can never know another person’s internal experience.
He sometimes doubts himself.
That could be just as true, or truer. I cannot know that.
I never doubt him.
Ah! Wow, now that is so much truer! I think whatever HE does is right.
I never doubt myself.
- Yes, when it comes to believing that he never doubts himself.
- Also, when it comes to some beliefs about myself. No matter how much proof to the opposite there is, I refuse to see it and keep on believing.
Filed under Relationships, Work by on Aug 2nd, 2007. Comment.
1. Is it true?
Yes. I’ve got 9 minutes.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
Stress. Pressure. Sweat. Resistance.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Relaxed. Knowing that there’s nothing I ever HAVE TO do.
Wow, that is soo peaceful. And so quick too…
Turnarounds:
I don’t have to do it quick.
- I can do it later too.
- I can do half now and half later.
- I can watch my mind when I don’t do it at all. =o
I have to do it slow.
- Oh yeah, look what stories arise.
- To show myself that doing it slow is not going to lead to a drama.
- Sometimes doing it slow means doing it and being done while doing it quick often means having to do it again because of a careless mistake.
Filed under Time, Work by on Aug 3rd, 2007. Comment.
1. Is it true?
Yes.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
Impatient. Trying to stay quiet to not make it even longer. Looking at the clock. Aintsy. Not wanting to talk to him when I don’t have much time. Judging him as not being focused. Seeing it as wasting my time.
I feel frustrated. I drift off. I try to do other things at the same time to still make use of the time.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would bathe in his words. I would get out of reality’s business. I would be at peace. I would end the talk when it comes to me.
Turnarounds:
He doesn’t talk too much.
- What is ‘too much’ anyway?
- Maybe in the moment it’s not of interest to me consciously but it might later.
- He might be saying something that may be of interest to someone else I am talking to later.
I talk too much.
- Guilty!
- While he is talking, I am talking too much about him talking.
He talks exactly the right amount.
- How could it ever be different?
- If he didn’t, I wouldn’t still be listening, now would I?
Filed under Control, Relationships, Time by on Aug 4th, 2007. Comment.
1. Is it true?
Yes. The uncertainty is killing me.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
Antsy. Rigid. Controlling. My body becomes tense the moment the thought hits and I believe it.
Striking out at the source of uncertainty. Seeing myself as a victim to circumstances.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I’d be excited to see how life unfolds. "Ahhh, This is how it is supposed to be." "It appears that I don’t need to know Yet."
I’d be lighter, flexible, going with the flow instead of resisting it. I’d be relaxed. The tension in my body would be gone.
Turnarounds:
I don’t need to know.
- Reality is: I don’t know. And when I am not believing the thought that I need to know, I am fine. So, that turnaround seems truer.
- I do like surprises. In fact, I love them. So, it’s like being in suspense. Nothing to do for me. I can relax. Someone else is doing it.
Filed under Control, Time by on Aug 5th, 2007. Comment.
