1. Is it true?
In this moment, yes it feels like it.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I feel overwhelmed. I got time to do something but I don’t know where to start.
I don’t do anything. I am stuck in paralysis. I see a pile of things. I doubt myself. Am I doing something unimportant? Should I do something else first? I think less of myself. I see myself as someone who doesn’t know what to do, who is not in charge. Yeah, there is a lot of negative self-talk and also pressure. Come on! Just do it! Don’t get distracted! No, that’s unimportant! You just chicken out with the important and tough stuff. …
With the thought: Stress and inaction.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would slow down. I would take a deep breath. I would calm down. I would hold the image of where I want to go. And I would ask myself which of all these possible action would support that goal most?
Yeah, there would be a lot more peace. And now I notice, there is also some joy coming up. Yeah, joy about the things there are to do. I remember that I really want to do all the things that are there to do.
Mmh, wonderful.
Turnarounds:
There is not too much to do.
The image of pouring liquid from a large bottle into a smaller one comes to mind. If you do it all at once, the smaller one is "overwhelmed" and not much gets in. But if you hold the larger bottle steady and just let it dribble then most of the liquid gets in. If I do one thing after another, slowly, it’ll all get done (or at least the stuff that needs to go into that smaller bottle).
There is too little to do.
Well, there is nothing to do really when I have the thought. I am paralyzed.
There is just the right amount to do.
Whatever gets done, is what was supposed to get done.
I really got that the other day. There have been so many times in my life that I thought I should have gotten more done etc. and look at me now: I am living this awesome life! I wouldn’t be who I am and right here, right now if I had gotten more done at any of those times. What a realization!
Filed under Time, Work by on Sep 1st, 2007. Comment. 
1. Is it true?
Yes.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I want to pillory them. I want everybody to know that they lied. I want everybody to know the truth. I judge them harshly. I see them as immoral.
With the thought: disgust and separation.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would be relaxed. I would hear people lie and I wouldn’t have a story about that. I wouldn’t condone it but I also wouldn’t judge them harshly or talk about them to others.
Without the thought: peace and being relaxed.
Turnarounds:
People should lie.
- That’s reality. In this world people lie. Sometimes.
- Sometimes that may be best for their or mine or other people’s path in the long run.
- Often it takes courage to be honest, even to themselves.
I shouldn’t lie.
- I have. So if I think others shouldn’t, how even is that?
- Yeah, I live that. Honesty is one of my most important values. It is for me to live.
- Sometimes I am lying to myself by telling myself I can’t do that or I am too weak, not smart enough, too big – stories that are just not true.
I notice how I don’t really believe this thought. Interesting.
Filed under Control, Relationships by on Sep 3rd, 2007. Comment.
1. Is it true?
Yes. A full inbox drives me crazy and drains my mental energy while I am doing something else.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
Mmh, I feel pretty strongly about that. But upon closer look I think I need it because of all the shoulds underneath and the worry of what will happen if I don’t.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
Restless. Antsy. Every once in a while the thought about this full inbox will shoot through my head and I will have this adrenaline rush. It takes me out of the present moment. I can’t wait to have time. I feel constricted by the things that prevent me from sitting down at my computer and tending to my email inbox.
It feels like a backpack I am constantly carrying around. I know it’s there. It’s heavy. It’s a drain.
With the thought: Stress and a drain of energy.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Oh, I hear my mind screaming: Don’t you let go of that thought!!
Ok, so I’ll take a step back: What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t believe that thought?
I would get careless and just let my emails sit there, not get back to people, not do my job.
Is it true that that would happen if you didn’t believe that thought?
Actually, no I don’t think so.
Ok, now, who would you be without the thought I need to be caught up with my email?
I think I would be more relaxed. I would take a few minutes and decide what the most important and/or urgent email is and if it can wait until the time when I can sit down in peace and quiet to respond or if I do need to make time for it right now.
Yeah, I would be relaxed. I would be gentler with myself, and I also would be more in the present moment.
(Side note: In future inquiry look at the thought: Things need to be finished. Things need to be done.)
Turnarounds:
I don’t need to be caught up with my email.
I remember that poem "If I could live my life again". I don’t think it says I would answer my emails more promptly. And from further away that seems so true.
I need to get behind on my email.
Oh yeah, there are so many stories surfacing when I do. All these stories about getting something done, needing to finish something, about what other people will think when I don’t get back, the "penalty" for not timely answering questions in the expert forum. Amazing to watch my mind go wild. I do feel compassion for it. It is just trying to protect me. Thank you my wonderful mind. Thank you for all the work you do, all the possible scenarios you go through to protect me from any potential pain. I will take a moment and really feel that appreciation and gratitude.
Filed under Time, Work by on Sep 4th, 2007. 3 Comments.
1. Is it true?
I just read it again and yes, it now seems cold to me.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
If I was in a place of pain I really do see it as somewhat cold. Not 100% but somewhat.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I want to take it back. I want to edit. I want to add something to soften it.
I remember how my Dad would say I had a cold heart. I start feeling really bad about myself. I really notice when I think and believe that thought I start to separate from me. It’s like with a friend who just did something that you don’t want to be part of, you take a step back.
I feel lonely. I see myself as cold. I really SEE it. There’s an amazing sadness. Tears start rolling down my cheek.
I feel that sadness in my thyroid. It’s very tense. I recall a memory of pushing my little brother because he had eaten my piece of cake. He crushed into the wall. I hadn’t meant for him to get hurt. But I pretended to not care and instead justified my action.
The more I stay there and think that thought, the more it hurts, the sadder I get, and the more I believe I am cold.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
The separation melts. I come back to myself. I give myself a hug. I see it for what it was: My intention was to help. The words seemed right at the time.
Without the thought I am gentle with myself. Loving. Caring. Understanding. Appreciating myself.
Without the thought I also don’t go in other people’s business. I don’t pretend to know how they’ll perceive my words. I stay in the here and now.
Turnarounds:
That was not cold.
- It was my experience that I shared.
- My intention was to help and offer insight that I was asked for.
- What is warm and what is cold? Who is to judge? Where does cold start and warm end? Is it the same for everybody? At different times?
That was warm.
- That was the intention in which it was written.
- Help in itself when it is asked for is warm.
Filed under Fear and Depression, Self by on Sep 5th, 2007. 2 Comments.
1. Is it true?
I will answer that from the place of someone being stuck in a small barrel with another prisoner in a concentration camp.
In that very moment, yes, I believe that.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I am having a panic attack. I feel the other one’s body pressed to mine. I scream. I want to kick. I want out. I can’t breathe. I need out right now. I think I can’t take it. There is an amazing physical power. I try to break the barrel. And I realize it’s not working.
Absolute panic.
Right here as I am sitting here imagining the situation, my shoulders are incredibly tense. They are hard like steel. I have trouble breathing. I am breathing very shallow. I am sweating. Just imagining the situation brings great discomfort.
With the thought: sheer terror
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I am calmer. I breathe. I relax some. I would surrender. I might feel the other person’s body and imagine it being my loved one.
Mmh, yeah much more peaceful.
Turnarounds:
I am not going die.
- Right now I am alive.
- In this moment I have enough air to breathe, my blood is flowing through my veins, my heart is pumping.
I am going to live.
- Since I don’t know the future, that may be just as true.
- That feels better, so that might be an indication that it is truer.
- That thought is also more supportive of my situation right now. Even if it is not truer, it serves me in the moment.
Filed under Body, Control, Fear and Depression, Time by on Sep 6th, 2007. 2 Comments.
