1. Is that true?
Yes. I’ve got enough on my plate. They shouldn’t be so self centered.

2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.

3. How do you react when you believe this thought?
Sad. Rejecting. Mentally attacking them. Separating from then. Seeing them as the villian. Being in their business. Unempathic. Annoyed. Lonely.

Not appreciating what the Are doing. Focused on me.

I am in direct opposition of what is. I feel like Rumpelstilzchen. Wanting things to be different than they are, when that is not in my business. Oooh, that’s a recipe for depression.

4. Who would you be without that thought?
I would be much happier. Out of their business. Relaxed. Going with what is. And that could mean hearing where they are coming from, really listening, giving empathy as well as asking for support.

Oh boy, what a difference! Without this expectation I start to appreciate my friends again. I see what they are doing. Without the thought I don’t have a concept of how things SHOULD be. It becomes ridiculous. I hear Byron Katie say: "Open up, Rose! Open up! You should open up!" My friends should be more supportive – What was I thinking??!

I am just laughing, laughing, laughing inside. For the first time I see so clearly how it is ME who is making herself unhappy. I have this concept and I compare that to reality. Of course, I’ll be unhappy. Wow!

Turnarounds
They should not be more supportive.
- Truer! They shouldn’t when they aren’t.
- They shouldn’t because I get to see these concepts I have and how unkind I treat others when they don’t live up to that made-up standard.
- They shouldn’t because I just got to see that my unhappiness doesn’t come from their actions but from my thinking of how things should be.

I should be more supportive (of my friends)
- Yes. When I believe "They should be more supportive of me" I have no room for being supportive of them. It all shrinks down to what they are doing for ME.
- Yes. If I think it’s so easy for them to do, let me start with me.

I should be more supportive (of me)
- When I believe the thought "They should be more supportive of me", I am gone. I am over there in their business. Nobody here with me. No wonder I feel lonely.
- If I need more support, I should ask for it, instead of stewing in sadness and feelings of abandonment and overwhelm. That would be true support.