Belief: Being strong is better than being weak.
1. Is that true?
YES! Proof?
When you are strong you get what you want. People don’t mess with you or try to take advantage of you. People respect you. People admire you.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
Better for what? Maybe sometimes what appears strong is actually fear and hurts inside and other times what appears to be weak is actually inner strength and feels good.
I put myself down when I am weak. The times that I have been weak in my mind are more sticky and prevalent than the times I have been strong. I look up to people that seem strong. I also am afraid of them since I see myself as weak.
How have you lived your life? I have always strived for being strong and put myself down when I was weak in my mind. I beat myself up for being weak. I avoided situations where I could have shown weakness. I cut my wings and limited my space by trying to avoid situation that would could potentially make my weakness visible.
I’d be very excited about any experience. There’d be no need to be afraid of situations where I might be weak. That feels very liberating.
I’d be so much more loving towards myself. I’d be open to experiencing and allowing any feeling. The outcome wouldn’t matter so much as just me being with me – no matter how I act. Unconditional love for me. Wow, that sounds exciting.
Turnarounds
Being strong is not better than being weak.
- If I believe that then it hurts when I Am weak. I don’t love myself as much.
- Sometimes being strong means me hurting inside or hurting someone else.
- When it means to "win" that also mean someone else "loses".
- The person doesn’t really get to see me if I am faking strong. It’s a lie then.
Being weak is better than being strong.
- Vulnerability makes people more open. They open up more if they see I am not made of steel but human and not perfect.
- The other one gets to "win" and that often feels good to them.
- I get to be in touch with my emotions and I get to be there for me when I need me most. Sweet!
Being strong is equal to being weak.
What am I here for? What if any feeling was ok? What if I could love myself no matter whether I was strong or weak, honest or lying, poor or rich, successful or failing? Boy, what a life! Nothing to lose. Now that feels really good.
Filed under Approval and Appreciation, Fear and Depression, Relationships by on Jun 5th, 2007. Comment. 
Belief: I could screw up big by doing this.
1. Is that true?
I don’t know. It feels big. And the thought hits hard.
No.
In my mind I keep checking again and again whether I did everything right. I get horrified when I think that I did something totally wrong and I now find out that everything is totally chaotic. Total panic. Tension in my back, wow! I feel it very clearly. In my neck too. PANIC! FEAR! Pictures come to mind where I wake up all sweaty realizing that everything is all wrong. So shortly before deadline. I’m thinking: Oh Gosh, that’s always like that! Damn it!
I would do my job. I would do the things I think are correct. I’d do the best I can – right now. I focus, concentrate, check – and that’s all I can do. It’ll be enough. And if not… – I’m looking forward to it! 
It’s all FOR me. Everything. Everything is support. Wow, what a freedom! FREEDOM! That’s amazing!
I couldn’t screw up big by doing this.
How could I? How is this possible? Wow, I’m really getting what it means to look forward to it. Yes, it’s all for my growth, my freedom. And if it takes screwing up, that’s what I want. Yes, that is what I want.
I could screw up my thinking big by doing this.
Because it might just turn out wonderfully. Different. My thinking wouldn’t be right. It would be proven wrong. “Screwed up.” Great! 
True. It is something in the future. That is one possible turnout. And it feels much better. In the light of not knowing the future, I’ll just go with what feels good. In that place I am much less anxious and that might contribute to a much better job anyway.
Filed under Approval and Appreciation, Fear and Depression, Work by on Jun 3rd, 2007. Comment.
Belief: I need to get credit for the things I have done.
1. Is that true?
Yes, absolutely. It drives me nuts when someone takes my ideas and pretends they are their own.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
I still want to say "yes". I believe it’s only fair that the one who did all the work and had the idea should be credited with it. I do remember examples though when I didn’t need to get "official" credit but was working "behind the scene" to make someone else look good. But then again, I did get credit from the person I did it for. Mmh… tough one. Well, can I ever absolutely know anything? No.
3. How do you react when you believe this thought?
It drives me nuts if I don’t get it. I become resentful of the other person or people. I try to get it in that it was ME who had the original idea or that I(!) did it. It’s stress, sadness, anger. I get so mad when that happens. I separate myself. I hold things back. I wait for the perfect moment to share something. Or I don’t share at all. I’m upset with the one who doesn’t give me the credit. Total separation from that person.
No spirituality left. No love. Pure ego. But I also see what I’m doing and how I’m feeling – and I put That down too. I think I shouldn’t need that. I should freely give everything away. I should want the others to do well. And when I notice I don’t, I see that I am not THERE yet. I’m not evolved enough yet. I am still in the baby stages. And so on. I’m feeling bad on top of feeling bad. So, both ways it does not feel good at all.
I treat myself badly and I sure don’t love the other person/people. HELL.
4. Who would you be without that thought?
I would do what I do. I would enjoy my products, my ideas, my jobs, projects. I would give me credit for it. I would trust that no-one could take anything from me that I’m supposed to have. No-one. And if I think of the other people actually being me, the different parts of me, then that gives the whole issue a total different perspective. What if the others were parts of me? Now, then I wouldn’t actually need the credit from them in the first place and more importantly I wouldn’t need the people I wanted to impress by being given credit to see it was me. I wouldn’t need to impress me, now would I? I already know it. There’s no need to get more credit – I know it and that’s all that’s needed. Wow, crazy perspective. But it feels so much better.
Turnarounds
I don’t need to get credit for the things I have done.
- If I KNEW I was great I wouldn’t need any credit from the outside. So, let me work on that. That I can influence.
I need to give credit for the things others have done.
- Good one! If I want others to do that – am I always doing that?
Filed under Approval and Appreciation, Work by on Jun 1st, 2007. Comment.
Belief: I need people to like me.
1. Is that true?
So far it still feels true. I am afraid of what would happen if they didn’t like me:
- They wouldn’t do business with me.
- They would spread their opinion to others and would contaminate them.
- And that would lead to me being lonely or criticized or confronted. Neither one of them feels good.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No. There have been people that didn’t like me (more probably than I know of) and my life has been fine anyway.
3. How do you react when you believe this thought?
I panic if there is even the danger that people wouldn’t. I don’t say what I think and what I feel because I am afraid of all the above listed consequences. If I really go through with what I feel and think every time then hell would break lose sometimes.
4. Who would you be without that thought?
I’d be free to always say and express what I really feel and think. And it doesn’t mean I’d have to be harsh and blunt and insensitive. I could do that in a very loving and caring way. I wouldn’t feel hatred towards people that seem to overstep my boundaries. But just tell them and give them a chance to notice.
Turnarounds
I don’t need people to like me.
- not if it’s at my expense
- it’s too much work and too limiting
- I cannot control other people’s thoughts anyway.
Filed under Approval and Appreciation by on May 22nd, 2007. Comment.
