1. Is it true?
Yes! They run a million tests for a teeny tiny thing, scaring you that they better check you thoroughly "to make sure".
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
Well, I can’t really know that. With all the malpractice lawsuits that a hospital may face in this country, they may really just do it to cover themselves.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I am suspicious. I also don’t want to go to a hospital. My bill from my car accident mounted to 2,000 dollars! That is a whole lot of money to spend in just one hour.
Yes, I rather live with some anxiety about a health issue than seek medical help. I am also really tight when I do go there. Even tiny things like them giving me some headache medicine after my car accident I decline for fear of some horrendous charge.
With that thought my mind goes to all these other places where corporations rip people off. I get angrier the more my mind travels down that road. I think of people without a conscience. My shoulders are all tense. A feeling of being a victim comes up.
Anger, stress, anxiety.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would relax. I would trust that the people working there are doing the best they can. I would know that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen. And that reality is God. And — I could still be clear and say that it is important to me to only have the absolutely necessary stuff done. And every time a service is offered to me I could ask how much that would probably cost.
I would feel more connected. I wouldn’t be so suspicious. Without the thought, I treat myself kinder. I don’t see myself as a victim.
Turnarounds:
Hospitals don’t rip people off.
- At least as true. I don’t know whether they do or they don’t. So, might as well go with the thought that brings me more peace in the moment.
- They may just really "have to" to make sure that everything gets checked out to protect them from medical malpractice lawsuits.
People rip hospitals off.
- When I look at the malpractice lawsuits here, that may be true. Maybe something wasn’t the hospital’s fault and people still try to sue the hospital to get money.
- I am not sure about that one but I think that anybody can go get emergency treatment and the hospital can’t refuse even though they don’t have health insurance and may never pay the hospital for their services.
I rip people off.
Now where do I do that?
- I once walked out of Walmart with a pack of diet coke under my shopping cart. I had forgotten to point it out to the cashier. It felt like too much of a hassle to go back and have it rung up.
- Last night in my mind I did that: I had to prepay a fee for a club I just founded and was thinking that I will recover that money from the members. If the club ended up having more members paying the small fee than calculated, I was thinking I’d keep it (instead of returning every member a few pennies overpaid.)
Filed under Control, Fear and Depression, Money by on Jun 29th, 2007. Comment. 
1. Is it true?
Sometimes it seems that way.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
Overwhelmed. Small. Dependent on others to tell me what to do. Feeling helpless. It feels heavy. I envy others who seem to know and seem so confident and clear. I compare myself with them. I resent them.
This thought feels depressing.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Without the thought I feel confident. I stand up straight. I feel good about myself. That is so much lighter.
Without the thought I can’t see a problem. I may ask others for their opinions but that would be from a place of feeling equal and not because I didn’t know but because I’d be open to hearing what else there was.
I’d be more in my business. I’d be with me. Mmh, that feels very loving.
Turnarounds:
I do know what to do.
- I am always doing SOMETHING. And it may look like asking someone for help.
- Lately, I have been more aware that what is happening in reality, really is the best thing possible. So in the moment I may think I don’t know what to do, that is perfect. So, in a sense there is no "not knowing what to do".
- I once had a coaching session. I came there because I thought I didn’t know what to do. Turned out I did know what to do. All the coach did was ask me question to which I was the only one knowing the answer. 
Filed under Control, Fear and Depression, Self, Time by on Jun 28th, 2007. Comment.
1. Is it true?
Yes. I did not have the expertise needed for that project.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
Well, ultimately it led to me leaving the business consulting industry and finding what I really wanted to do. So, NO!
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I am angry at my boss, my company for putting me in a tough spot like that. Feeling constantly underqualified, yet being paid a LOT of money every day, made me extremely uncomfortable. I can easily say that those months were the hardest of my life (not counting the last year though 
)
I mentally attack the whole consulting industry as being deceptive and just talkers without creating real value. Well, not only mentally, I actually talk to people about that when they ask me why I left my promising career of being a senior consultant in one of the Big Five consulting firms. I don’t acknowledge that even though I kept saying I don’t feel qualified, I didn’t have the guts to stand up and say: I want out! I was afraid to hurt my career. After all, the client seemed very happy and kept renewing my contract. By attacking them, I hide the fact that I ultimately went along and stayed.
I see myself as a victim. I get so angry when I remember how unfair and bitchy I treated my boyfriend at the time. I was stressed, extremely stressed and I attacked him often when he only tried to help, motivate, or cheer me up. I make my bad behavior their fault.
I feel a lot of resentment, anger, and regret. I physically feel that as tension in my shoulders and neck.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would be eternally grateful for where it has led me. That was the thing that set the ball rolling. I felt awful like I never had before. Everything before had been easy, one success after another, rarely had I ever experienced fear nor did I even know what anxiety was when it came to performance. It led me to question the path I was on. It led me to find out what I really wanted to do professionally — and finding it. I got to experience being paid for something that I love doing and would have been doing anyway. Incredible. I found The Work of Byron Katie. And ever since, my life has just gotten better. It’s like first spring and then summer after a very rough winter.
Without the thought, I would also not blame and own my part in it.
This gratitude I am feeling right now, is amazing. Wow, who would have thought that one of the hardest times in my life would lead to this great life I am living now. I should remember that. What seems awful at the time may turn out to be really great after all.
Turnarounds:
I should have been assigned to this project.
- Because it led me to find out what I was really passionate about doing professionally.
- Because it led me to The Work of Byron Katie which has been a blessing in my life. Through The Work I have busted my limiting beliefs and my life just keeps getting greater…
- Because I was. That is reality.
Filed under Control, Fear and Depression, Work by on Jun 25th, 2007. Comment.
1. Is it true?
I have one reference of moving out that ended in the worst night of my life. And that was just moving out of a one room dorm. When I think of moving a whole house… the thought seems very true.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No. It is in the future, and I can never know the future.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I am already stressed out. My mind travels to the never-ending night of moving out of my dorm that seems to be the most stressful night of my life. How the stuff to pack, to clean, or to throw away didn’t seem to end. And that was just one room.
I feel my shoulders getting all tense. I feel extremely stressed. It also feels inevitable. Most stuff can only be done the day before. I also picture moving in. The new place all dirty but we have no time to clean before moving in. I see images of stuff breaking. In the moment of total stress we will just want it done and care less. I see our expensive Tempura bed getting damaged.
I also go to a place where I am supposed to pack it all perfectly, and when it’s not, I get judged for it by the friends and family that help us moving.
Wow, right here, right now I experience an enormous level of stress even though the move is not even happening yet.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would be more relaxed. My shoulders loosen up immediately. I would see that we already got rid of a lot of junk. I would see that we are not taking a lot of furniture. I would also see that we can still come back if we don’t get everything in time. Nobody is moving into the house right away. I would see that we have a whole week to start packing. I would see that we are doing the move ourselves. We’ll always be with our stuff.
I would just fall into it. Just relax. I would trust that everything will go just the way it is supposed to. What’s the worst that could happen? Stress. Well, I am already experiencing that. 
I am fine right now. If stress is the worst that could happen, I know I’ll be fine.
Turnarounds:
Our move will not be very stressful.
- We have a week to pack.
- We already got rid of a lot of junk and rigorously parted with lots of stuff and clothes we hadn’t used in a while.
- We don’t have a lot of furniture.
- Probably nothing needs to be taken apart and then put together again.
Our move will be very relaxed.
- I am free to pack all week.
- We get the truck early in the morning and have ALL day to put stuff in. We only leave the next morning.
- We have strong moving helpers.
- We are not very attached to our things – except me for our wonderful Tempura bed. But that is only one piece to really handle with care. I can handle that.
Filed under Fear and Depression, Time by on Jun 24th, 2007. 1 Comment.
1. Is it true?
Absolutely. Isn’t that what even The Work is about? Undoing limiting beliefs to live a more joyous life free of confusion?
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
Well, reality is, that I am more unhappy these days than a year ago. So, am I supposed to be happy most of the time these days? No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
Stressed. Thinking that how things are going is not ok. Rejecting my feeling bad. Feeling bad on top of bad. Thinking I am weak. Never really committing. Ready to jump anytime. One little problem, and I think it’s not going well and I should get out of the relationship. I now see that I have believed this for a long time. No wonder, I ended a lot of relationships quickly if I wasn’t happy for even just a short time.
With that thought I am rejecting what is. Feeling bad is not ok. I feel like a loser. I also see other relationships and how they seem to be happy all the time. I don’t want to tell it other people when I am not happy.
When I believe that thought then I think I am more likely to leave than to stay and work things out.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would acknowledge that I am in an extreme situation right now. I would acknowledge that other people would possibly not make it or be unhappy even more often.
Without that thought I would fall into reality. I would not reject feeling bad but embrace it. I would not judge "good – yes" and "bad – go away".
Wow, I would LIVE. I would just work with what is there. LOVING WHAT IS! Yes, that’s it.
Turnarounds:
I am not supposed to be happy most of the time.
- Not right now.
- Hasn’t going through hard times helped me understand other people and where they are coming from better? Isn’t that even how this website came about?
- I asked to be on the fast track. Be careful what you ask for!
I am supposed to be unhappy most of the time.
- This turnaround does not seem true as it is not reality. So, I’ll try:
I am supposed to be unhappy some of the time.
- True. Reality.
- To show me where I am still living a limited life.
- It does make me appreciate good time even more, especially right after having felt bad.
- I then take some time to myself – and that is often soo great. Peace and quiet and just me.
Filed under Fear and Depression, Relationships, Self by on Jun 23rd, 2007. Comment.
