1. Is that true?
YES!! It’s like time is my enemy.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No. When something unpleasant is happening, there is more than enough time. Ok, same side of the story. It just isn’t right for me. But can I absolutely know that there is never enough time? Can I know that I would be happier if there was enough time? Mmmh… No. I can’t know that I would be happier.
I feel sooo upset. Angry. Punished. Like a loser. I never get it all done. Overwhelmed. And I treat the people in my life as a nuisance, a disturbance. Boy, yes! I’m short with them. I don’t take time to talk to them. I brush them off. Seeing them as time drainers or stealers. Yikes!
I’m treating myself really badly too. Seeing myself as a loser for not getting more done. Getting so angry when I look up from my desk and it’s already much later than I thought! My thyroid hurts, my face is tense. My shoulders too. Grrrr…
Punished? Mmh, interesting. Yeah, it’s like I get short-changed by the universe. "You? You don’t deserve more time! You are a time waster! You better shape up first before we give you any more time!"
Oooh, and then I envy others who seem to be so productive and accomplish a lot. Separation. I try to find flaws in them.
Hah, and I end up being frozen in upset and get even less done. Like I throw in the towel and give up. Why even try?
l just took a deep breath. Wow – I would notice what’s around me. I lighten up. My tension loosens up immediately. I ease up. My negative self-talk melts. Yeah, I relax. The time issue loses importance. I almost giggle. Like "Boy, did I blow this out of proportion. Really wrapped up in a story." I come out of paralysis. Much better.
Turnarounds
There is always enough time.
Ok, I am not quite believing this turnaround, but I am definitely realizing that the original thought is not helping. Believing it, does not make me more productive. In fact, the opposite happens. So, it’s not a helpful thought to believe.
Now, let me try to actually go to the opposite.
- Well, there is always enough time to complain.
- There is always enough time to eat.
- There is always enough time to read email.
Hah! It’s all about priorities. Obviously, something else was more important. Or, secretely I don’t even want to get that stuff done. Mmmh, food for thought.
Filed under Self, Time, Work by on Apr 2nd, 2009. 2 Comments. 
1. Is it true?
I think I really believe that.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I look at women that just stay home, raise kids and do the cooking and cleaning – and I see them as worth less.
I put myself under pressure to achieve. When I believe that thought I also feel a constant shortage of time. With that thought I am constantly chasing against the clock. I compare myself with the imaginary place of where I should be, what I should have gotten done by now, how much money I should be making, etc.
Negative self-talk. Little or disrespecting others. Doing the same with myself. Constant pressure. Being flustered with the question: What do you do?
Ick! Lots of tension in my shoulders, constantly tapping my foot, a constant restlessness. And I eat. I eat to soothe and comfort.
Alright! I am ready to look at what life would be without this thought!
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Oh my god, that would be soo peaceful. I would just live my life. I would do what’s right in front of me. Without a story of where that should lead to. I would be more present. I would enjoy life more. I would be out of other people’s business. I would enjoy doing nothing. I could totally immerse myself in playing with W. There’d be PEACE. And also less separation and judgement of others.
Mmh, yeah that feels good. I love that.
Turnarounds:
People that don’t achieve anything are not worth less.
- I have no clue what they came into this life for. What if it was just to experience what it’s like to breathe?
- Or what if these people’s job was to make others feel better in that they offer a level of achievement that is easy for others to top?
-
Side question:
What is the purpose of achievement? Why do we need to achieve something in the first place?
Because everybody needs to contribute.
Why?
Because otherwise it is unbalanced. Some people DO something while others don’t.
Ok, so it’s about fairness. Now, what about these women that stay home and raise the children, do the cooking and cleaning. They ARE doing something.
Yes, that’s true.
So, it’s not just about fairness.
No. There is a concept of good and bad, better and worse.
So, achievement comes in a specific form?
Yes. You can’t "achieve" something at home.
Is achievement tied to money?
Not sure. Actually, a professor could come up with some new formula or write a book and she may not make a lot of money but she gets a lot of recognition.
Ah! So, achievement is tied to approval?
Yes, I think more so than money. Because I could think of someone making A LOT of money and nobody would call him an achiever. Let’s say a drug dealer or bank robber.
Ok, so we’ve established that achievement is tied to approval. You want to achieve something because that would get you people’s approval.
Yes.
So, the underlying belief here is: You need other people’s approval.
Yes, that’s it. I’ll question that next.
Ooooh, that was good!
Filed under Approval and Appreciation, Self, Time, Work by on Sep 13th, 2007. 4 Comments.
1. Is it true?
Oh gosh, it sure feels like it!
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
Well, I should add There is never enough time for the things I want, should, or need to do.
I still want to say yes. Well, actually sometimes there is enough time. But boy, I still am pretty convinced. Ok, I’ll leave room for doubt.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I am greedy for time. I am stingy, a time miser. I don’t want to give up time. I feel bothered by phone calls or long emails.
I see this image of holding onto a ball and people trying to take it away from me. I scratch and I scream. I throw myself on top of the ball with my whole body, so nobody can get it, and then all these people take it from me at once. I feel hopeless. I feel angry. I feel tight and closed up.
With the thought: stress, tension, separation.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Oh boy, this one is so hard. I can’t even begin to step into that one. But ok, let’s try.
Without that thought I wouldn’t have an idea of what I should be doing or need to be doing. There would only be what I AM doing.
There would be peace. I would be relaxed. I would be led by what is showing up in my life. I would be moved, sort of like I am not doing it but I am just witnessing where I am moving.
Turnarounds:
There is always enough time.
- For all the things that need to get done. Because if they didn’t get done they didn’t need to get done. I mean look at where I am today! I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. And I am here with all the times that I didn’t get everything done.
- For everything that is necessary to be on the path I am. No more and no less. Ooooh, what if I really trusted that?
Ok, the time issue is still a big one. I want to try tackling it another way. More to come…
Filed under Time by on Sep 12th, 2007. Comment.
1. Is it true?
Oh boy, it sure feels like it.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No. Maybe it isn’t and I just can’t see it yet.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
Discouraged. I sigh heavily. Like: I’ll never get there. It will take forever. There is not enough time.
There is negative self-talk like: Why can’t you just figure this out? It’s not that hard! What’s the big deal?!
I feel tension in my shoulders.
And my mind circles and circles and circles. It tries to attempt to focus and solve this thing. And then boom! the thought hits "It’s too hard!" and I stop. Yeah, it’s a constant stop and go. It is energy draining. I have attempted the first step (thinking it through to get to a next action) soo many times but never really stuck with it.
So, with the thought: stress and inaction
4. Who would you be without the thought?
I would turn off my computer. I would set the clock for 30 minutes. And I would focus on solving this task uninterrupted without doing anything else.
Without the thought I feel confident, stronger, clearer. I also feel some excitement: Yeah, let’s tackle this and get to its core. Oooh, that feels good. Sort of tingeling.
So, without the belief: confidence and action
Turnarounds:
It’s not too hard.
- It really just comes down to breaking up this big project into little tasks.
- Each individual little task could be done by a high school kid.
- I’ve got support.
It is too easy.
Mmh, can’t see that one right now. But I’ve got to run anyway. I want to solve my problem. Yeehaa, I am on the go!! 
Filed under Time, Work by on Sep 8th, 2007. Comment.
1. Is it true?
More time = more things done = getting ahead faster
So, yes, I believe that it is true.
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
Sometimes my experience is that the more time I have, the less I get done. And the more there is to do, the more I get done.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
I become a time hog, a time miser. I get very protective of my time.
I feel unfree, limited, tied down by other stuff/people. It’s like being in a straight jacket. My breathing is shallow. My focus jumps between all the things that need to be done. I feel overwhelmed. And I feel discouraged. Yeah, sometimes I just want to give up: Ah, it’s never going to work!
With the thought: stress and discouragement
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Slowing down. I would take a few deep breaths. Yeah, just stop and breathe. Just relax.
I would break "projects" down in little tasks. I would see that in any given moment I could do something towards my business. 10 minutes for writing. 5 minutes to break down a project into a task.
I would notice that I have plenty of time. I would focus on ONE task at a time. One task 100 percent of my attention. And then I would move to the next. And to the next.
Yeah, without the thought, there’d be action.
Turnarounds:
I would not get ahead faster if I had more time.
- I have had whole weeks to myself and not gotten more done.
- Not with this time scarcity in my head. No matter how much time I have, I’ll be stuck in watching in run through my fingers.
I would get ahead faster if I had less time.
- I might just be better organized.
- I remember a time at work as an apprentice where there was no work to do. Then the little bit of work that came in was so hard to do. It took forever to get it done. And then there was the time before that when we were swamped with work. I got soo much done. It was amazing.
I would get ahead slower if I had more time.
- Because I might have the illusion "Oh, I got soo much time, let’s do something else first." Isn’t that my experience? Oh yeah, let’s play a game first…
Filed under Time, Work by on Sep 7th, 2007. Comment.
